Friday, April 24, 2009

Touch that button and die, kid.

I swear to gawd. If this little red-headed terror wakes me up again I'm going to put him in a dumpster and be completely, legally, ethically, and morally justified.

I'm asleep. Stop turning off the volume of the babysitter (TV).
I'm asleep. Stop turning up the volume of the babysitter (TV).

I hate you and the puzzles you think you need to show me you can do for the 789,654th time.
Your mother is a dirty whore, and that's why I pay attention to her.
All kids are accidents: biology dictates the decision to have kids but given the choice, nobody - and I mean NO-BO-DY - is that stupid.
Uncle E married us, making you 1189% illegitimate.
Your evil laugh was taught to you by me, and if your mother learns our secret I'll be a happy suppporter of 8th trimester abortions.

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