Invisible crutch

On psychics, they aren’t psychics at all; they’re just observers of the obvious. Point and case - “Oh my god, she knew that I was having trouble finding a boyfriend”. Well maybe that’s because you’re face looks like Sandra Bullock made love with a Picasso painting and then sprinkled itself with Down syndrome dust. “Oh my god she knew I was having trouble finding a job”. Wow, that is a tough one! Is it because this clairvoyant is trance channeling Cleopatra? Maybe…but I think the more likely culprit would be the fact that you’re patchouli smells so bad that any normal person would think you have been swimming in the urinals at the football stadium and then drying yourself off in a transients arm pit. No one wants to hire someone who believes that the stone on their necklace is protecting them from some kind of bad energy, let alone someone they can’t even breathe around without inducing projectile vomiting. “Oh my god, she knew that I was feeling sad and was trying to find happiness in my life!” Yep, you are sad and most of all pathetic. Why else would you be going to a psychic in the first place? “She says I’m having trouble connecting with a man right now because I’m a Leo and Mercury is in retrograde! Oh my god!!!!” News flash, Capricorn is not going to descend from the heavens and attempt to cover up your putrid face with some makeup…only you can do that. Sagittarius is not going to drop out of the night sky and cover up your stink with something other than Tom’s of Maine soap or some real deodorant instead of that crystal looking mineral rock shit you bought at Whole Foods. Again, only you can do that. Guess what? Libra is not going to change the fact that you had a shitty childhood and because of it you doom yourself to repeating the same relationship with same type of abusive fuck wad over and over again. You guessed it, only you can recognize this and change it. Last but not least, though you may be feeling the incredible and overpowering magical and invisible powers of fire, water, and air. Though you may have the awesome energy you think you are pulling from Mars and Venus pulsing through your veins. Even though someone told you that your chakra is aligned and that your aura is vivacious and dancing storms of beautiful miraculous light and color. None of these things or a million psychics can teach your fragile brain the one thing it needs to learn most…(insert drum roll)…REASON AND COMMON SENSE! My suggestion, try going to a normal library and skip the trip to the metaphysical bookshop.

Demonimania