Fuck it, I hate this shit too.

With every day that passes I find it harder and harder for me to maintain interest in conversations of any sort. The worst and most common example of this is when I’m approached at the bar and asked something about the weather, the sporting event or what kind of classes someone is taking. For future reference and as a general crutch to make this endeavor easier, please understand that to successfully converse with me there are some very simple pointers to follow. Just remember to think of your conversation with me as a movie script and realize that this program must contain V, GL, N, R, DU and of course NBR (Necro-bestial rape). When I was 13 I was more than happy to suffer through an entire movie for a glimpse of BN but having been exposed to footage of milk being funneled into someone’s ass and sucked out with a straw only to be spit back into the receiver’s face, girls blowing horses, zombie porn, midget porn, nunsploitation and a number of other truly inspiring uses of the imagination, it’s kind of difficult to go back to Playboy. So please go ahead and keep your ML and BN to yourself, it’s fucking boring.

Next order of discussion is men in business suits. I don’t trust you; you are probably a serial killer. Stay the fuck away from me. I don’t think there is much in this world that gives me the creeps quite like a guy in a coat and tie eating an ice cream cone. This is disturbing to the core, don’t do it. Keep your pedophile shit to yourself and your own living quarters or better yet, get your tie stuck in some machinery and die.

Hey Bizkit guy, you are way too old for this shit. Your stupid baggy JNCO pants and crooked flat brimmed hat makes you look like a god damn clown. This was barely tolerable in high School but now that you are my age this is just downright ridiculous. You should know better by now, for the love of god please just stop. Fred Durste and Kid Rock were retards and so are you. You’re a dick, you make white people look stupid and I hope a plane flies into you.

Lastly, Tibet is cool and all and I would totally be fine with it being free. The problem I have is all of these bumper stickers that say “Free Tibet” and then right next to them “War is not the answer”. Fuck you! To free Tibet you would have to go to war with China which I might add is the largest army in the world. So seriously, fuck you or join the services.