Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Love making with a flame thrower 101

Sorry I have been absent from posting lately, I have been extremely busy. Not to worry though, because my hatred has been brimming and seeping from every pore. When it gets this bad and there is an endless supply of dark disgust and fury pumping through my blood stream it becomes very difficult to focus all of this energy onto one subject matter. Where do I start? Well I guess I’ll give it a shot, please forgive me if I jump around a bit.

Dear overly optimistic Dill Rod - Yes you, the guy that nothing can bother. You go to church, you can always “look on the bright side” and “everything happens for a reason”. Well guess what you fucking shit eater? Your sanguine attitude when I am having an especially terrible day is making me want to show you just how mysterious the lord’s work is when I shove a crucifix right up your happy ass! FUCK OFF!

Dear Spawn Factories – Please! For the love of god stop shitting out children! It would be one thing if I thought that these nauseating podlings were going to contribute to society at all. Let’s face it though, I haven’t exactly been running into people that come off as modern day Aleister Crowley’s, Marquis De Sade’s or even a Friedrich Nietzsche’s. No, instead I get some drool bag who probably thinks Applebee’s has great food and can’t wait for the next NASCAR race and probably says things like “Holy crap did you see Jay Leno last night? That guy is fucking hilarious!” This world is going to be more fucked than it already is! Seriously! What do we do to curb this sort of activity? Tax breaks and time off of work. FUCK OFF!

Dear person and or thing that caused La Familia Mexican Restaurant to close down, if I find out who or what you are…I am going to end you! I hate you with all of my black heart and I hope a donkey falls out of the sky and lands on you cock first! FUCK OFF!

A few other quick things that are currently dragging their fingernails down my chalk board.
That retarded stoner comedian Jim Bruer or whatever the fuck he’s called making pizza commercials. The guy or girl who keeps pushing back the release date of the new Slayer album. Gossip with no validity, Men, Women, television, radio, things I can’t afford, Rush (the breathing, talking pile of foreskin) Limbaugh trying to buy a football team, Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson trying to stop Rush Limbaugh from buying a football team, people who try to analyze me on their own & or ask other people about me rather than just asking me, the moron who sat behind me at Zombie Land, losing lottery numbers, hearing “hey Brother”, food poisoning, the nightmare I had last night…my right nut grew to be the size of a watermelon and when it burst assorted vegetables came falling out of my body and I’m not fucking making that up!, pastel colors, my right to assemble being trampled on by stupid permits, city codes and noise ordinances, while we’re at it…environmental police too! All of this stuff can go fuck itself!

“If you are happy and everything is going great, get ready because something shitty is about to happen.” – Ancient Greek philosophy

XOXO Fuckers

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